Netflix's "Dead To Me:" On Guilt, Grief, Friendship & Lov

I first discovered the Netflix show, Dead To Me, when my dear friend, Jessica, recommended it when it aired in 2019. Jessica and I became best friends when we were 14 and she went from home-schooling on her family farm to attending my small public school (she thrived and never looked back!). We acted in plays together, went on family vacations together, tons of sleepovers, visited each other at college and beyond, made crazy recordings, dated brothers once, spent every moment we could together. And for the next few decades, we shared almost daily phone calls as teens, to regular calls and letters as we made it through young-adulthood, to almost daily calls again, as we shared marriage and motherhood. We talked about anything and everything—relationships, society, philosophy, politics, families—and also cooking, cleaning hacks, books, tv. When I recommended the book Pachinko, she read it. When she recommended a recipe for a homemade ice cream cake, I made it. So when she recommended “Dead to Me,” I watched it. I remember her saying it was not like any other show she’d seen.

“Dead to Me” is a show about mistakes and consequences—and how you deal with both. It’s dark and funny. It’s tense and poignant. It’s a lot about guilt, but it’s also about motherhood and daughterhood. And at its core, it’s about friendship and love.

I’m actually a little shocked when I see that this show aired in May 2019 because Jessica was battling Stage 4 cancer at the time. She passed away 4 months later.

Shocked isn’t the right word.

Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that Grief kind of jumps up in your face and screams at you at any random moment it feels like.

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A Grinching Good Time!

My youngest son has a Grinch-inspired holiday party coming up this week, and in discussing this, I’ve realized how many Grinch dramatizations we’ve actually seen. If you’re looking to add another Grinch-drama to your holiday mix, check out these 5 incarnations of the classic green-haired creature (and beware—there are tons more grinchy-dramas out there!).

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2019 Cheesy Rom-Com Christmas movies: It's never too early (or is it?)!

I’m a bit buried in planning two 12-hour road-trips next week, followed by family visits, lots of volunteering, parties, events, writing, theater—so Christmas is kind of sneaking up on me this year. It doesn’t help that Thanksgiving comes late in the month, as it seems everyone has observed. But tonight, I stopped in my leaf-raking tracks when I received this message from a friend:

“Just got an email from Netflix about ‘The Knight Before Christmas.’ I am so excited!”

My heart just did a little back flip.

Is there any better pre-Thanksgiving reminder that the Christmas season is ready to burst through the door?

I mean, come on, look at this write-up of the movie:

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What I'm Watching and Why: Forever - Season 1 - from Amazon Studios

The story of breaking away from the dissatisfaction of mundane life in the suburbs is nothing novel. It’s a fairly common theme because once your life settles into its trajectory, and the basic “what happens next” questions have been answered, there can be a lull of excitement. This is why we have the age-old midlife crisis, after all. New cars, affairs, jumping out of planes—people look for thrills when life might be less thrilling. We still have the afterlife, with all its glory and excitement, to look forward to though, right? But what happens when the afterlife is no more exciting than your current living life? What happens when you join the afterlife only to find there is no one to even address the “meaning of life” questions? What happens when you escape all of this earth-living to only find that in the afterlife, you still have to cook chicken, mow your lawn, and drawers get stuck. But there is no death in sight this time. This is forever. (And this is… “Forever.”)

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