PURPLE BANANA NOSE
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: POLICE STATION
Age range: 15-30 years old
Description: A room in a police station. The light is white, cold. A DETECTIVE sits at a table with a folder in front of him/her. DANNY, sits on the other side of the table. His hands are on his head and he shakes it back and forth. He is mentally retarded.
Not s’posed to tell! Not s’posed to tell!
I tell but not use names. Okay? That’s what Jimm—that’s what my best friend tell me to do. No names. ‘Cause we’re best friends. My friends always save the cherry one for me. They good friends. ‘Cause I useta play by myself, but now they play games wi’ me. My friend teach me S-s-s-sah-li-taire. Put black on red. Black on red. Black-on-red. Blackonred.
Why I gotta tell you ‘bout the game we play? It our game! My game wi’ my friends!
We gonna play Muppets, he tell me. You be Gonzo! He tell me. GONZO!
Gonzo got a purple banana nose. I like Gonzo. They tell me be Gonzo ‘cause Gonzo weird and stupid. Like me. They funny. My friends.
We gonna do Muppet Caper. My friend Pe—my friend, he play Kermit. And one play Piggy—but he’s a boy, not a girl. (laughing) He’s a boy, not a girl. Boy-not-girl. Boynotgirl. They all silly.
I don’t wanna tell you no more. You’re not laughing. You don’t think my friends funny. They make me laugh. But you make me cry. Why you look like you so mad? Wanna go home. Don’t wanna stay here. You look so mad. Don’t wanna talk. CLICK FOR ENTIRE PURPLE BANANA NOSE MONOLOGUE.