I think I’m next actually. I was here—well, I’ll just wait then. It’s just my arm is kinda bleeding right now and I was here before that woman with the twitch. But I’ll just wait over here. But maybe you can’t see me very well. Maybe I’ll just wave my arms around like this. Is that better? Now you can see me real clear, right?

Well . . . I think I should stop waving my arms around. It’s just my arm is dripping on things, well, the blood anyway is dripping. ‘Cause it’s Christmas, y’know, and my girlfriend wanted a real tree. But I have allergies. I sniffle a lot. I think it annoys people. Well, I can’t help sniffling, y’know. I wish I would stop.
But I know my girlfriend’s been real disappointed not having a pine tree for the past few Christmases—so I thought this year would be different. But I never used a chainsaw before. Lot harder to handle than it looks. And since my girlfriend decided to take a break from me this summer—I lived with her . . . in a house. You don’t mind I’m dripping on the floor? I’ll take my sock off. Here. I’ll wrap it around my arm. That’s smart thinking, right? I don’t mean to mess up your nice floors. They’re so yellow. That’s nice.

But now that my girlfriend thinks I don’t have any motivation ‘cause I lost my job ‘cause I couldn’t keep up with my figures, well, now we don’t live with each other. So I thought it’d be a good time to get her a real nice tree for Christmas since I won’t be around to sniffle at it. ‘Cause they said it’s not in anyone’s best interest for me to spend time with my girlfriend since she didn’t like my calling on all my breaks at work to make sure she was okay and tell her I loved her. It’s a dangerous world out there. I used to get a break every two hours. I’ve never been on salary yet.

Oops, the blood’s soaking through my sock. Well, I have another one, I guess. But then, it’s not so comfortable wearing shoes without socks. My girlfriend used to say my feet smelled like sour milk. I guess they do a little bit. So I’m not supposed to see her really, but giving her a Christmas tree I cut down by myself isn’t so bad, right? Oh, I really think I should see a doctor soon. I’m kinda cold, y’know?
Well, I may not be seeing my girlfriend or anyone really on Christmas day, but at least I got her that tree. Left it on their porch. And that’s why I have to see a doctor. Because she has good aim with that gun (holds up arm)—as you can see.
I hope she decorates it with lots of tinsel.