SANTA’S LOUSY JOB
from the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
Setting: A STORE
Age range: 5-12 years old
Description: LAUREN sits on Santa’s lap. She speaks to him.
You did a really bad job last year. I know I’m just a kid, and I know they say what you do is hard, but I mean, I could have done a way better job. And I’m not even 10. Like, here’s a tip. Girls like to build things too. Okay? If you knew me at all, you’d know that. You give my brother, like, 4 Lego packages and you give me, what? A stuffed dog, a stuffed rabbit with a baby rabbit, a stuffed kangaroo with a baby kangaroo and a…what was the other one? A stuffed alligator. With an egg. I mean, do you think I’m like those babies who throw everything at people’s heads so you have to only give me soft things so if I throw them I’m not gonna hurt anyone? Do you know how bored those poor babies are who only have stuffed animals? They have nothing fun to play with! And clearly, Santa, I’m not a baby. I don’t have a problem with hard toys. So this year, please. Some Legos. And my brother wants a stuffed dinosaur.
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