TINSEL FOR CHRISTMAS
Genre: DARK COMEDY
Setting: HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
Age range: 20-60
Description: After delivering a Christmas tree to his ex-girlfriend, Stan ends up bleeding in the hospital, and no one seems to notice him. He speaks to the receptionist.
I think I’m next actually. I was here—well, I’ll just wait then. It’s just my arm is kinda bleeding right now and I was here before that woman with the twitch. But I’ll just wait over here. Maybe you can’t see me very well. Maybe I’ll just wave my arms around like this. Is that better? Now you can see me real clear, right?
Well…I think I should stop waving my arms around. It’s just my arm is dripping on things, well, the blood anyway is dripping. ‘Cause it’s Christmas, y’know, and my girlfriend wanted a real tree. But I have allergies. I sniffle a lot. I think it annoys people. Well, I can’t help sniffling, y’know. I wish I would stop.
But I know my girlfriend’s been real disappointed not having a pine tree for the past few Christmases—so I thought this year would be different. But I never used a chainsaw before. Lot harder to handle than it looks. And since my girlfriend decided to take a break from me this summer—I lived with her…in a house. You don’t mind I’m dripping on the floor? I’ll take my sock off. Here. I’ll wrap it around my arm. That’s smart thinking, right? I don’t mean to mess up your nice floors. They’re so yellow. That’s nice. CLICK FOR ENTIRE TINSEL FOR CHRISTMAS MONOLOGUE.