TINSEL FOR CHRISTMAS
A monologue
By Tara Meddaugh
Stan is trying to remain patient and respectful in the ER waiting room, while blood drips from his arm. He explains his evening of cheerfully bringing a Christmas tree to his ex-girlfriend’s porch. True, she had a restraining order against him, but…he’s not really great with measuring distances. Somehow all of this has landed him in the ER…where he’s beginning to not feel so hot…
DETAILS:
Genre: DARK COMEDY
Cast: MALE
Setting: HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
Age range: 20-60
Running time: Approximately 2.5 - 3 minutes
____________________
STAN
I think I’m next actually. I was here before—It’s only… my arm is kinda bleeding right now and I was here before that woman with the twitch. But I can wait over here. Maybe you can’t see me very well. Maybe I’ll wave my arms around like this. Is that better? Now you can see me real clear, right?
(pause)
Well…I think I should stop waving my arms around. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know that for sure, but the blood from my arm is dripping on things. It’s dripping because…well, it’s Christmas time, y’know. And my girlfriend wanted a real tree. But I have allergies. That’s not why I’m at the hospital—I sniffle a lot and it annoys people but I wouldn’t come to the ER for allergies. I wish I would stop sniffling.
(pause)
My girlfriend’s sure been disappointed not having a real tree for Christmas the past few years. My allergies spoil everything. But this year, I thought it could be different because—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the digital copy of the monologue, Tinsel For Christmas by Tara Meddaugh.