WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN 

A comedic Christmas monologue 

By
Tara Meddaugh

 

Robert is at a Christmas Tree farm with his friend, Rich and they are planning to cut down a tree for the holidays. Rich has a chainsaw with him, but Robert explains that is NOT the right way to chop down a Christmas Tree. He shows him his axe and lets him into the real spirit of Christmas.

DETAILS:
Genre: Comedic/Christmas
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Cast: Male
Age range: 20s-50s
Setting: at a Christmas tree farm
Time period: contemporary
*This monologue contains cursing (2 times)

 

EXCERPT BELOW

ROBERT

A chainsaw? Dude! You gotta—look—

(pulls out an axe)

See what I have? It’s called an axe, man. This…is how you chop down a Christmas tree. That’s why they say “chop.” You ever heard someone say, “I’m gonna go chainsaw down a Christmas Tree”? Nah. Don’t be lazy. You gotta do the right way.

(holds out the axe)

Feel this.

(pause)

See? There’s—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete 1-minute monologue, WHACK THE CHRISTMAS TREE, MAN.