Well, it’s the day after Halloween. Crisp, light candy wrappers in the trash. Piles of crushed red-dye candy coating on the floor. Parents—did you check your kids’ candy last night and “skim” any off the top? Kids—did you do an inventory last night and confirm your tally this morning? Okay, so a lot of families are happily generous with their candy on Halloween (thank you!), but transparency is nice, right?
So today, on the morning after October 31st, enjoy this duo of monologues (Is that an oxymoron? Not really, but kind of, right?) about disappearing Halloween candy! In the first one, My Missing Skittles, Sal catches his dad, red-handed at midnight, eating his halloween candy! In the second, A Dad’s Defense, Doug justifies to Sal that he’s never pretended to be perfect in the first place. But he comes up with the resolution that hopefully satisfies both parties (Just don’t tell Mom!).
Enjoy these funny monologues, from child to parent, and parent to child! My Missing Skittles is about 1 minute long and suitable for any child! A Dad’s Defense is about 1.5 - 2 minutes long and great for adults. If you've been looking for a monologue duo perfect for a child and adult to act out together (Parent/Child Theater, here we come!), this is a great match! Have fun!
MY MISSING SKITTLES
(Sal to his dad, Doug)
Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. I know that face. I made that same face last night when you asked if I was playing with my Ipad after I went to bed. You could hear the fighting sounds. You knew I was. But we’re not talking about me right now. Are we? Cause I’m not the one standing by the closet with Skittles’ wrappers in my hands. Did you buy Skittles tonight, Dad? Cause I didn’t think you bought candy at stores. I thought you just bought milk and Band-Aids at stores, and only when Mom asked you to. Not Skittles. (pause) But I do remember what happened 2 nights ago when…END OF EXCERPT.
CLICK BELOW FOR COMPLETE MONOLOGUE.
A DAD’S DEFENSE
(Doug, to his son, Sal)
I’m just—um…wait a minute. Uh… I’m not stalling. I’m just—you caught me off guard. It’s late. It’s, what, midnight? Mom’s in bed. You should be in bed too. You have school tomorrow. I thought you were—I mean, you were in bed. So. You startled me. That’s why I’m a little jumpy. It’s not because I was doing anything wrong. It’s just, you startled me. (pause) Okay (pause) Okay, Sal. I know you saw me eat your Skittles. Let’s just put that on the table. I’m not gonna lie. I ate them. Okay? I think I ate a few Kit Kats too. And Junior Mints. You don’t like peppermint anyway. Sal, you don’t need to cry about this. You shouldn’t be that surprised—I’ve never pretended to be perfect, unlike Mom, and I’m sorry to break it to you, but Mom goes over the speed limit too. (pause) Look, I’m sorry. I should have asked you. Even though I did get out of work early to trick-or-treat with you, and walked a couple miles, so I kind of did as much work getting that candy as you did. But—I’m still sorry. How about…uh…what’s it worth? A couple dollars? I’ll give you a couple dollars, Sal? No? That’s not what you want. (pause) Okay. I get it. I know what you want—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the entire FREE digital download of the monologue, "A Dad’s Defense.”