Keeping in line with my month of Halloween/eerie drama, here is a newly released monologue of mine, Remove the Rock, Please. What happens when a reasonable request made by a good upstanding citizen is repeatedly ignored by the town mayor? A Banana Republic dress gets blood on it, apparently. Check out the dark comedy/thriller/dramatic monologue below, for a female actor.
It’s exactly what you think, Stella. The blood. I’d love to say I was jogging down Fremont and fell on that God-awful rock by the bench that I keep asking the town to remove and that’s why I’m bloodied on my new Banana Republic dress. You know just as well as I do that the mayor plays his favorites with our requests. You had no problem getting him to make that bar turn down its Thursday night music. Even though I’d prefer to hear it across town. Free date-night in for me and Ricky. We used to order Thai food. Well, you ruined that for me now, didn’t you? (pause) But me—you know. I ask the mayor for one little rock—or, gigantic rock, to be more accurate—I ask for it to be removed, so that the good citizens of our upstanding town should not cut themselves on its jagged edges—and what response do I get back from the mayor? (pause) Crickets. It’s always crickets for Ashley Mahoney, whatever I request. You know they still do trash pickup at 6am on my block. Why do you get to sleep in until 7, a mile away, when I’m listening to the beeping of that garbage truck back up on our dead street before the sun even comes up? I’ve written ten letters but…crickets. Okay, that’s just my sleep. But this rock. This is a real hazard and if it had bloodied me, maybe they’d take me seriously. Well, it’s a moot point anyway, because I didn’t get all this blood on me from the rock. Although, it’s kind of related. (pause) It’s actually entirely related. (pause) If the mayor had listened when I kindly asked him to remove the rock, please, then you wouldn’t be looking at me like that, with your mouth open, and—END OF EXCERPT.
CLICK FOR THE FREE MONOLOGUE, Remove the Rock, Please, by Tara Meddaugh.