Tara loves to write for children, as well as adults, and has crafted her monologues to stand out, be unique, and be entertaining for both kids and adults.  Tara's children's monologues are for children age 4, at the elementary school age level, through pre-teens at the middle school level. There are children's monologues for male or female actors.  Read below for descriptions and excerpts from children's monologues, or click below for a link to the specific monologue.  To use, please seek permission by contacting Tara and must always give proper credit.

Monologue Packet: 19 Extracted Children’s Monologues from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN, Cast FEMALE/MALE Setting: Various
A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A KITCHEN
A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, monologue Genre: DRAMA/COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN, Cast FEMALE, Setting: FOREST
Begging Blitzen, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: A HOUSE
Christmas Superpowers, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A MALL
Covering My Ears, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/TEEN/CHILDREN Cast: FEMALE/MALE Setting: A BATHROOM
Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym Genre: COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN, cast MALE (female), Setting: A PARKING LOT
Grinching Mom by guest playwright, 6-year-old, Luke B. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN, cast MALE/FEMALE, Setting: Child’s bedroom
I am a Shark, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A BEACH
If I Were a Kind of Flower, monologue Genre: CHILDREN'S/TWEEN/PRETEEN/COMEDY/DRAMA, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: A CAFE
Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/TEEN/CHILDREN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: SAFARI JEEP
Ipad Fury, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A MINIVAN
Livvy's Vase, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN'S, Cast: FEMALE (MALE), Setting: HOUSE
Mr. Swimmie, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S Cast: FEMALE/MALE Setting: A HOME
My Missing Skittles, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN Cast: MALE/FEMALE Setting: KITCHEN
Santa's Lousy Job monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S, Cast: FEMALE, Setting: A MALL
Shepherd Superheroes monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A CHURCH
Teddy Shouldn't Go to Space monologue, by guest playwright, 8-year-old Dylan B. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: Front Porch
The Mud Puddle, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S Cast: FEMALE (MALE) Setting: OUTSIDE, NEAR A MUD PUDDLE
Skunk Moms, a trio of monologues Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S Cast: FEMALE (MALE) Setting: A HOME
The Standoff, monologue or The Standoff, the play Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S Cast: MALE (FEMALE) Setting: SIDEWALK BY HOUSE
The Statistics Aren’t Real, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC/TEEN, Cast: MALE (female), Setting: A DYING FLOWER


Setting: Various, Christmas-themed
Running Time: Monologues in packet range from 30 seconds to around 3 minutes, most average 1-2 minutes

Enjoy 19 comedic monologues for children extracted from the one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen. Monologues range from 30 seconds to 3 minutes, and average at approximately 1-2 minutes long. Check out two free sample monologues from this packet, Santa’s Lousy Job and Shepherd Superheroes.

About the play: Take a snowy walk through the child-like magic of Christmas, where reindeer talk, Santa is real, and who wants super powers?
To four young children, Christmas is no simple sleigh ride.  Annie’s new best friend is a talking reindeer, and she’s not sure if that’s really okay... Sam is experiencing the pressure of being the Lead Shepherd in the church pageant.  Dylan has a very secretive wish he hopes Santa can deliver. And Lauren needs to make sure someone is giving her little brother a very special Christmas. Experience the joys and challenges of Christmas through the eyes of these children in this monologue-driven one-act comedy.

Setting: A kitchen
Age range: 5-15 years old
Run time: 1 minute
Description: STEVEN, a boy (ages 5-15) speaks to his dad. Steven has just shared his Easter jelly beans with his dad who has gobbled up a handful of them all at once. Steven implores his dad to eat the jelly beans the “right” way.



There is a wrong way. There's really a wrong way and you're doing it, Dad! You're doing it so wrong wrong wrong wrong! You're totally wasting them! You know how hard it was for me to get those? I mean, I waited all year...since last Easter. And—I—I—I don't mind sharing with you. Really. I like it when I can give you something that I really like and you like it too. But—this—this is just wrong, Dad. When someone gives you 20 jelly beans, and they're all different flavors like popcorn and chocolate pudding and blueberry, you don't just—you don't just shove them all in your mouth at once! Then you don't taste anything and it's just this giant blob of like, I don't know, sugary melted plastic or something. You gotta—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean."

A Monologue excerpted from the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure
Setting: A FOREST
Age range: 10-20
Running time: Approxmiately 1 to 1.5 minutes

About the play:
Goldilocks and Little Bear have run away from Little Bear’s house in the forest to start a new life together, one full of adventure and hope and away from judgmental eyes. However, they don’t quite know where they are going, how they will find their next meal, and Little Bear has never even made a shelter in the woods. Suddenly, the reality of two young friends on their own in the woods, does not seem as carefree as they once envisioned. To read the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, click here.

About the monologue:
Goldilocks, the clear leader of the pair, confesses to Little Bear that, despite her apparent confidence, she actually does not know where they are going. As Little Bear appears to be having second thoughts, Goldilocks does not know if her dear friend deserves to have a life without loving parents, like the one she has been ill-fated to endure. She expresses her gratitude of their friendship, but gives him the freedom to return to his protective and loving family, as the adventure she is embarking on will not be easy.



I…I don’t know where we’re going…We know your parents don’t accept me in your house.  And…I don’t have much of a home to offer you. (pause) You can go back, Little Bear. If you want to.  I mean—I’d understand.  You have a family that loves you.  You’re not like me. And…I don’t want you to become like me. Bears—They’re—they’re not meant to sleep in beds. But—look, maybe I’m not meant to be scavenging a forest for berries, and yet—this is where I am.  And…this is my life.  This is my adventure…but it doesn’t have to be yours—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for Goldilocks’s complete monologue of “A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure”

To read the complete 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure click below

From the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
Age range: 5-12
Description: ANNIE, a girl of 5-10 years old, speaks to Blitzen, one of Santa’s reindeer who has been visiting her in the afternoons. She is in her living room speaking to him through the window as he stands outside.



Hey…you’re magical, right?  Like, you don’t have wings, I know that. But I know you fly. I’ve seen you on Christmas Eve.  Plus, I think I saw you practicing your route on Thanksgiving night—right before we met. And, you talk, which has got to be magical because I keep talking to Bilbo—you know, my golden retriever—and he never talks back. Most of the time, I don’t think he even understands me except when I said “go for a walk.” (pause) I know you have hooves, not fingers and hands, but—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the entire free digital monologue, Begging Blitzen.

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

from the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A mall
Age range: 5-10 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Description: DYLAN, a boy of 5-10 years old, sits on Santa’s lap and makes an unusual request. He’s at a mall.



I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. I’ve done everything you told me to in your letter last year. I’ve stopped hitting my little brother. I don’t complain—very much—when I have to do homework. I even donated seven toys to Goodwill yesterday ‘cause Mom said I didn’t have enough room for anything more. So I’m ready, Santa. I’m only asking you for one thing this year. And you can try to steer me away from it all you want by telling me about how you made a new truck this year and how I can do hundreds of things with a big set of blocks and how there are some funny books out there you know I’ll like. But it won’t stop me from asking for it. It’s why I’ve been so good this year and why I know you’re going to listen to me.  So I’ll tell you again. (leans it) I want a—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Christmas Superpowers."

For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

For a hard copy of the entire one-act play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

Setting: A bathroom
Age Range: 12-70+
Running time: approximately 2 minutes long
Description: Whitney is in the bathroom, envisioning the calmness, peace and escape covering her ears in the shower gives her, before the abrupt harshness of reality comes when she uncovers her ears.


I cover my ears in the shower. I stand there—letting the water drip down my hair, my back. I turn into it. It flows down my face. It’s loud. Not like thunder. It’s…it’s…peaceful. Like…I’m swimming under water, in a lake, it’s dark and the rain is pouring down. It’s loud under water. But it’s quiet. Muffled.  Calm. There are no problems under water. There is no yelling. No hurt. No pain. Everything is erased. And no one knows me.  What I’ve done. What’s been done to me. I’m nothing under the water. And nothing is…freeing. To me. (pause)  I uncover my ears. (pause) I have to. I know I can’t stand like this forever. (pause) And when I do--END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue of "Covering My Ears"

Covering My Ears, monologue
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Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: In a parking lot of a grocery store. Late at night.
Age range: 12-20 years old
Running time: Approximately 1 to 1.5 minutes long
Description: Benjamin, a boy of around 16 years old, is at a Stop and Shop grocery store parking lot, around midnight. He is speaking with his long time friend (and probably crush), Evie, who is quite angry with him.  Unknowingly, he has defeated the pokemon gym belonging to her team, and now he needs to prove he would never battle with her on purpose...but is it too late?



I know you’re mad—I just saw your post of that face with the flames coming out of its head, and I’m just—aw, Evie, I know it looks bad.  I know you won’t believe me, but listen, it’s not, it’s just, it’s not what it looks like. (pause) How was I supposed to know it was you?  You’re a—you’re a girl with really long hair, but your avatar looks kind of like a boy with short hair.   Which is fine, but I mean, right there, that should show you I’m innocent.  And—I never would have thought you’d choose yellow.  Your favorite color is blue—it’s always been blue…like your eyes…And look at your bike, Evie—it’s blue too.  It still has those butterfly decals you put on when you were nine.  I put on the lightning bolts (pause) I know there isn’t much I can do now—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym."

By guest playwright, 6-year-old, Luke B.
Genre: Comedy/Children
Cast: male or female, child
Setting: A child’s bedroom
Running time: Approximately 1 minute

Description: Max, a child, around 8 years old, is standing in the doorway, holding his mom’s lamp. His mom catches him, red-handed, about to take her lamp into his bedroom. Max offers her an explanation of this theft, which might not be what you think—and tries to convince her he is not to blame.



Well, I know it looks weird for me to hold your lamp in my hand, but I have a good reason. My light doesn’t work! (smirks) You don’t believe me? (pause) I was grinching it! What? You don’t know what grinching is! It’s when someone takes something. It’s from the grinch movie. Remember? We watch it a lot. It’s like where the grinch goes over house to house stealing everything. Can’t I have a little fun, Mom? All— END OF EXCERPT
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Setting: A BEACH
Age range: 10-20 years old
Description: Jamie is a child or teen, standing at a beach, when confronted by a group of bullies.


Sometimes, when I stand on the beach and look out at the ocean, I imagine I’m a shark.  My feet are hot, so hot they’re burning.  Burning so much, I start to not feel the pain anymore.  I take several deep breaths, and I breathe out the heat through my nose.  I can feel it leaving me.  My feet are tingling.  A little numb.  But I feel no pain.  I am a shark.  I’m swimming through the water and you can cut me with your knives, but my skin is hard and I am tough.  And I feel no pain.  A boy, this boy I know, but wish I didn’t, runs out of the ocean and past me.  I feel the cold water he’s brought in on my legs.  He’s tossed sand on me too and it’s sticking to me.  I reach my hand down to feel the roughness on my legs.  It’s like sandpaper.  His friend runs out of the water too, chasing him, and he bumps into me.  Pushes past me—END OF EXCERPT

Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: A CAFE
Age range: 5-11
Length: Approximately 2 minutes
Description: Anibel, a girl, around 5-10 years old, speaks to her older sister (who is in her early 20s and attends college). They are at a café. Anibel expresses joy that her newly planted daffodils actually came up for the first year, but also expresses concern that they will die in the Spring snowstorm. Her mother has faith in the daffodil’s strength, but Anibel is not so certain. She imagines how she would respond to the snow, if she were a daffodil.


If I were a flavor of ice cream, I’d definitely choose strawberry, but I would have to have sprinkles and not just the rainbow sprinkles for ice cream, but like, cupcake sprinkles. Shaped like strawberries. And I really wanna eat ice cream outside, but you know there’s still snow at our house, and it feels weird to eat ice cream outside in the snow. Do you know the daffodils I planted last year actually came up? They did! I was like—What are these little yellow hats doing in the grass, and then I was like, They’re not hats, Anibel! They’re your daffodils! It worked! I planted them with Mom and she said they would come up and I didn’t believe her but they did come up! But then now, there’s all this snow covering them, and really it’s already Spring, and it’s not right, but the world gets weirder and weirder (pause) I don’t want my daffodils to die… (pause) Mom gave me this long hug this morning and said it was okay to cry, because I already was—but that daffodils are really strong and excited for Spring, like me, and that’s why they come up so quickly after Winter. And she thinks they’ll survive the snow. (pause) I don’t know if I believe her, but if I were a daffodil, I would—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the complete pdf of the monologue,
If I Were A Kind of Flower.

Age range: 7-18
Running time: Approximately 1 - 1.5 minutes
Description:  RYAN is a boy, around 7-18 years old. He is on a South African safari with his parents. He is in the safari jeep. A camping pack has just fallen off the jeep and a rhino charged at it while the jeep was driving. Ryan speaks to his parents.



Did you see it? Did you see him charge? Like—I’ve—he charged, Mom!  Dad—did you see him charge? That’s—you know rhinos can’t really see well? Did you know that? I mean, they charge before they even know what they’re charging at and—that could have been us! You know? It was just the tent pack that fell off the jeep, but—man…It could have been us! (pause) This is the best trip ever!! (quick pause) First, there’s no hot water at the camp during the day so, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you haven’t made me take a shower since Thursday!  And remember how the camp kitchen wasn’t working yesterday so we got to have Lucky Charms and popcorn at dinner?  Plus, when you guys fell asleep last night, I played on my Kindle for 4 hours and got to level 5 in Geometry Dash Meltdown!  I knew a safari would be cool. I mean—END OF EXCERPT
Click for a free pdf of complete monologue, Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous.

Setting: A MINIVAN
Age range: 7-15 years old
Running time: approximately 1 minute long
Description: JUSTIN, a boy, 7-15 years old, is sitting in the driver’s side of his mom’s Toyota Sienna minivan. The keys are in the ignition, the doors are locked. The window is open about 1 inch. Justin’s mom is standing next to the driver’s side of the car, locked out.



Just because I’m not a teenager yet doesn’t mean I can’t drive a car. You think I won’t do it?  I might not be good at it, but remember how long it took me to tie my shoes? I had those laces in knots no one knew what to do with, for years, but I didn’t stop. I just kept practicing. You say it’s good to be a hard worker.  Well, my strength is also my weakness, I guess.  Look at how that came to bite you, Mom. Because you know all it would take is for me to put this Sienna in reverse. Just back it out of the driveway nice and slow or maybe not nice and slow. Maybe fast and--END OF EXCERPT

Ipad Fury, monologue
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Adapted from the ten-minute play, Holding Ginger.
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: HOUSE
Age range: 5-13 years old
Description: Jenna is standing in the hallway of her house.  Her older sister, Livvy, is near her, and they’ve both witnessed Jenna’s running through the hall and knocking over Livvy’s (empty) glass vase. There is broken glass on the floor.


Uh oh…uh oh…I’m sorry!  I’m so...I’ll clean it up! Right now!  I’ll—I didn’t do it on purpose. You know that, right?  It was an accident! I was just running through—I know I’m not supposed to be running through the hall, but…Ginger was chasing that ball and I was trying to catch him…Come on.  I’m sorry.  Okay?  I just bumped into it by accident…I’m cleaning it up, see?  Even though Mom would probably be mad I’m touching glass like this and you’re not helping even though you’re older than I am.  But look—I’m doing it!  I’m really sorry, Livvy.   You’ve had that vase for…I don’t know…when did that boy give it to you?  You were…were you my age?  Maybe older.  No boy has given me flowers yet—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the entire play, Holding Ginger, from which the "Livvy's Vase" monologue comes.

Holding Ginger
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Setting: A HOME
Age range: 5-10 years old
Description: Chloe tries to convince her mom she has matured since she let her pet fish die, and now she is ready to take care of a puppy.


I know Mr. Swimmie died, but this is different.  Mr. Swimmie was weird as soon as we got him.  Half the time he swam backwards, remember?  And sometimes he’d bump into the tank, like maybe he couldn’t see right or something.  I did try to feed him—most of the time.  You know, right before dinner, if I was smelling your macaroni and cheese cooking or maybe you were making that dessert with cherry and chocolate I love?  Or even if it was that gross pot roast that stinks up the house.  I had to think of food because I was smelling it.  So I’d feed him.  Like, every day.  Honest.  Or most days anyway.  (pause) So I know I forgot a few days.  I’m not perfect like Emily, ok? —END OF EXCERPT

Setting: KITCHEN
Running Time: Approximately 1 minute
Description: Sal, a child 5-12 years old, has woken up in the middle of the night to find his father by the kitchen pantry, holding several Skittles’ candy wrappers in his hand. Sal confronts his dad about where his dad may have gotten this candy from, just days after Sal’s Halloween candy was put away into this very closet…



Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. I know that face. I made that same face last night when you asked if I was playing with my Ipad after I went to bed. You could hear the fighting sounds. You knew I was. But we’re not talking about me right now. Are we? Cause I’m not the one standing by the closet with Skittles’ wrappers in my hands. Did you buy Skittles tonight, Dad? Cause I didn’t think you bought candy at stores. I thought you just bought milk and Band-Aids at stores, and only when Mom asked you to. Not Skittles. (pause) But I do remember what happened 2 nights ago when…END OF EXCERPT.

My Missing Skittles
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From the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
Setting: A STORE
Age range: 5-10 years old
Description: LAUREN is in a store. It is around Christmas time.  She sits on Santa’s lap and speaks to him.



You did a really bad job last year. I know I’m just a kid, and I know they say what you do is hard, but I mean, I could have done a way better job. And I’m not even 10.  Like, here’s a tip. Girls like to build things too. Okay?  If you knew me at all, you’d know that. You give my brother, like, 4 Lego packages and you give me, what? A stuffed dog, a stuffed rabbit with a baby rabbit, a stuffed kangaroo with a baby kangaroo and a…what was the other one?  A stuffed alligator. With an egg. I mean, do you think I’m like those babies who throw everything at people’s heads so you have to only give me soft things so if I throw them I’m not gonna hurt anyone? Do you know how bored those poor babies are who only have stuffed animals?—END OF EXCERPT
For the entire play, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

from the one-act comedy, Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A church
Age range: 5-14 years old
Description: SAM, a boy, 5-12 years old, is playing the part of a shepherd in a Christmas Pageant. It is the night of the performance and he, along with other shepherds, have been playing outside in the mud in their costumes.  They have returned to the church, moments before the performance is about to start and the pageant director is not happy. Sam speaks to the Pageant director, Mrs. Wendell.



What you’re forgetting—I mean—think about it—what you’re forgetting is that, is that, is that, shepherds weren’t neat. They didn’t, like, have a washing machine or something.  They were out in the dirt with the sheep and stuff and probably had to, I don’t know, like, sleep in a mud puddle sometimes? If it was raining? And you told us to really try to think like our character, like, what would a shepherd be doing if he was just out there with the sheep all day? And like, I think, a shepherd would probably be playing. Because he has all those sheep to jump over and stuff, and maybe all the other shepherds to play with too, so I was thinking they’d probably be playing Superheroes—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR ENTIRE FREE monologue, Shepherd Superheroes.
For the entire play,
Christmas Superpowers and Believing in Blitzen, from which this monologue comes, click below:

Written by guest playwright, 8-year-old, Dylan B.
Genre: Comedy/Children/Teen
Age range: 5-13
Running Time: Approximately 1 minute
Description: Jackson is an 8 ½ year old boy. He is standing at the doorstep to his house. He speaks to a NASA member. His dog’s name is Teddy.



You really shouldn’t send my dog to the moon. Remember you said that the rocket was fast, to convince me? Well, in space the faster you go, the farther you go to the future. So I won’t see Teddy for months! Also you’re not even paying me. And I know most kids would be excited about this, so…you don’t need to worry about paying—but still. You could run out of air. Get attacked by cosmic radiation, run out of gas, or freeze! You should go get volunteers. So once you leave, you can keep that in mind. And I see—END OF EXCERPT
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A trio of related monologues for children
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Setting: A home
Age range: 4-12 years old

JENNY (youngest), ALEXA (middle) and DEIRDRE (oldest) are sisters. They are speaking to their mother, pleading their case of why a baby skunk would make a good pet for their household.  Jenny makes the case of how cute they are. Alexa points out how she usually thinks Jenny is wrong, but in this case, she agrees and they must have a baby skunk.  Deirdre emphasizes how having a baby skunk will unite the three sisters, in getting along with each other, as well as learning responsibility. It is such a clear case to the sisters. They are so completely ready to be skunk moms. But is their mom?



No one gives skunks a chance because they stink, like really badly, but have you seen a baby skunk, Mom?  You would never say that if you had seen a baby skunk because we saw one yesterday, with Daddy, or really, it was a whole family of skunks. Like, a mom and four baby skunks, and we were in the car, and Daddy stopped the car because they were crossing the road and they were cuter than cats because their tails were so fluffy, like the rug you have on the chair that I put my face in sometimes, and there is no cat, I mean, not even one single cat in the whole universe, that has a tail that’s as fluffy at that. And--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms.



You know Jenny is usually wrong, Mom. And I have to tell her all of her mistakes, like even this morning, she was saying that Canada is not a country, and that’s it part of the United States, but I was telling her, no, it’s a country, and they have accents and their own money and we even went to Niagara Falls and had to have passports, but she wouldn’t believe me because now that she’s in Kindergarten, she thinks she knows everything, but you and I, Mom, we know, because we’re older, that she’s wrong so many times. She even told me her teacher is a pokemon trainer. She’s not. Clearly. Pokemon aren’t real. So, like, if I agree with Jenny--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms.



You might be a little scared thinking of a skunk living in our house, and spraying its yellow stink-poison all over the couch, but the thing is, it doesn’t have to be like that. You can take the sprayers out, wait, just listen—you can take them out, because Alexa and I asked Siri about and people do this. People really keep skunks as pets and you can just, you can just take the sprayers out and put them, I don’t know, in the trash or use them for Science or something. And then they’re just like, a cat, but so much better, as Jenny was saying, and we can use the doll brush to brush its hair, because we know it will need brushing, and we’re all okay taking turns doing that. And really, we’ll take turns with everything. Feeding it, and walking it, and I had the idea to put little shoes on it. Wouldn’t that be really cute? And I think it’s actually a way to bring all three of us together, like as sisters, and--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete trio of monologues, Skunk Moms.

Age range: 5-10 years old
Description: Sophie is standing by a mud puddle.  Isabelle has pushed her in the mud puddle two times already and Sophie has resisted the urge to retaliate.  Her clothes are muddied and dirtied and she is sick of being pushed around. She speaks to Isabelle.


If you push me in that mud puddle one more time, I’m gonna…I’m gonna…my mommy said calling people a Poopy-Head is not a nice thing to do, but you are not doing a nice thing to me, so I just might have to call you that.  And yeah, so I have mud on me now, but it’s not poop, and having poop on your head is a lot grosser!  You think that’s funny?  Okay!  You can laugh.  Maybe you’d like some mud on you then?  What—are you gonna run away now?  Go tell your mom that I was gonna throw mud on you?—END OF EXCERPT

Age range: 5-10 years old
Description: It’s a warm summer day, and Kevin is standing on a sidewalk outside the house of his peer, Cayden. Cayden holds a small egg-sized water gun and Kevin holds a large automatic water gun.  The boys know each other fairly well and have played with each other in school and at each other’s houses, but they are not necessarily good friends.


You go ahead and shoot.  I know you wanna.  It’s all you been thinking about since you came out.   Holding it like that, pointing it right at me.  You were sitting in your room when you saw me walking by, so you grabbed your gun and ran outside, thinking you were as fast as Flash Lightening, thinking you’d catch me before I got too far ‘cause I know you’re not allowed past that tree with the funny white bark.  Well.  You caught me.  Here I am.  But you’re not as fast as Flash, Cayden.  ‘Cause I saw you in the window, and I just waited.  I could’ve run past that tree. I could run past that tree right now ‘cause I got a babysitter and she lets me go wherever I want.  I know you’d chase me if I did it too, and you’d wanna go past that tree, but you’d have to decide—is it worth it?  Is it worth it, Cayden?  Is it worth losing tv time on a Friday?  Or ipad time?  Or isn’t today the day your mom lets you make your own ice cream sundae?   You wanna lose that?—END OF EXCERPT

Cast: MALE (female)
Running Time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
From the ten-minute play Jumping the Wind By Tara Meddaugh © 2006

About the play, Jumping the Wind:
Pollen K-10 and Pollen V-6 are the last two remaining pieces of pollen on a dying flower, and they now must make the treacherous jump from the dying flower to a fresh one. Pollen K-10 has taught flower-jumping courses to the pollen in order to make their jumps successful, yet Pollen V-6 is terrified to jump the next wind, afraid of falling and being lost forever. As the leader of the pollen, Pollen K-10 risks his own safety, remaining to help her make this jump. The winds are fading, the flower will be destroyed by Cat that night, and Pollen V-6 doesn’t look any closer to jumping.

About the monologue:
Pollen K-10 cites various statistics which prove that since he has started his flower jumping course, the rate of pollen falling to their demise during jumps has dramatically decreased. In fact, the rate of success now is astoundingly high and should be encouraging to Pollen V-6, who is terrified to jump from the dying flower to a fresh flower. Pollen K-10 has never revealed where he has received these statistics, and Pollen V-6 begs him to tell her where he has gotten them from. She will make the jump during the next wind, but needs to know this information. She needs to know the truth.



The statistics aren’t real. I made them up. (brief pause) Please don’t lose faith in me, Pollen V-6! I tried to get the statistics! I really tried! I asked the flies, but they’re too fickle. They forget what I’ve asked them to do almost immediately after they leave, and they don’t remember me when they return. The friendlier bees tried to help, but then, even the most honorable ones told me upfront there was a conflict of interest. The birds don’t care. The Talls don’t understand us. There was nowhere for me to get the statistics. The statistics aren’t real…but… (pause) The statistics are true. Pollens survive the ride so much more than they used to, because they believe they can. They believe they’re prepared, and--END OF EXCERPT
Click for the complete free monologue, The Statistics Aren't Real.
To purchase the 10-minute play,
Jumping the Wind, from which this monologue comes, click below: