A NOTE ABOUT MONOLOGUES
Tara's monologues have been used all over the world--from a Variety Show in the Middle East to computer animation in Scotland, to being published in a Language Arts High School textbook in South Africa, and countless contests, festivals, and of course, auditions. Tara is usually happy to let actors use her monologues for auditions (most of them free of charge), but you must contact Tara for permission and always give proper credit. If you would like to use a monologue for any purpose, please contact her, as well, to request permission (she almost always says yes!).
Tara's teen monologues are comedic or dramatic, and are suitable for pre-teens at the middle school level through high school, and for young adults. There are teen monologues for male or female actors. While these monologues are written for teens, teens may play many of the monologues listed in the dramatic monologue or comedic monologue section, as well.
A Donut Daydream, monologue Genre: COMEDY, Cast FEMALE, Setting: LIBRARY
A Klingon In Love, monologue Genre: COMEDY, Cast MALE (female), Setting: STAR TREK CONVENTION
A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, monologue Genre: DRAMA/COMEDY/TEEN, Cast FEMALE, Setting: FOREST
A Really Good Reason, monologue Genre; COMEDY/TEEN/DRAMA, Cast FEMALE (male), Setting: COFFEE SHOP
A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean, monologue. Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S/TEEN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A KITCHEN
Abhay and the Banana, monologue Genre: DRAMA, Cast: MALE (female), Setting: MUMBAI, INDIA
Baby Ants in a Pie monologue Genre: COMEDY, Cast FEMALE (Male), Setting: KITCHEN/DINING ROOM
Claire, My Eclair, monologue, teen version Genre: COMEDY/DRAMA/TEEN, Cast MALE, Setting: OUTSIDE OF A SCHOOL
Covering My Ears, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC/TEEN/CHILDREN Cast: FEMALE/MALE Setting: A BATHROOM
F For Friendship, monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY/THRILLER/TEEN Cast: FEMALE Setting: WOODS
Ferret Envy, monologue or Ferret Envy, the play Genre: DARK COMEDY, Cast FEMALE (male), Setting: APARTMENT
Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym Genre: COMEDY/TEEN/CHILDREN, cast MALE (female), Setting: A PARKING LOT
I am a Shark, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC, Cast MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A BEACH
Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/TEEN/CHILDREN, Cast: MALE/FEMALE, Setting: SAFARI JEEP
Ipad Fury, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN'S, Cast MALE/FEMALE, Setting: A MINIVAN
Livvy's Vase, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE (male), Setting: HOUSE
Locking the Store, monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY/DRAMA, Cast: MALE, Setting: GIFT SHOP
March in Line, monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: BEDROOM
Mary's Expectations, monologue Genre: COMEDIC, Cast: FEMALE, Setting: 18TH CENTURY HOME
Maybe the Next iOS Update monologue Genre: COMEDY/DRAMA/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE (Male), Setting: A RESTAURANT
No More Mirrors, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC, Cast FEMALE (male), Setting: HOTEL/CAMBODIA
My Missing Skittles, monologue Genre: COMEDY/CHILDREN/TEEN Cast: MALE/FEMALE Setting: KITCHEN
No Release, monologue Genre: DRAMA/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE/MALE, Setting: HOUSE
Not Just Derivatives and Functions or Whatever, monologue Genre: COMEDY/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE, Setting: SCHOOL CAFETERIA
Purple Banana Nose, monologue Genre: DRAMATIC, Cast: MALE (female), Setting: POLICE STATION
Seventeen Stitches, Rachel’s monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY/DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE (male), Setting: A vortex-like line
Single Crutch, monologue Genre: COMEDIC, Cast, MALE, Setting: OUTSIDE A HOUSE
She's So Ugly, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DARK COMEDY/TEEN, Cast: FEMALE, Setting: BEDROOM
Still Standing Under the Mistletoe monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC, Cast, MALE, Setting: Christmas Party
The Beanstalk, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC, Cast: MALE, Setting: A GIANT BEANSTALK
The Dog Toenail, monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY, Cast: MALE (female), Setting: A CAN FACTORY
The Plum-Colored Sweater, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC, Cast: FEMALE, Setting: A CLOTHING STORE
The Statistics Aren’t Real, monologue Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC/TEEN, Cast: MALE (female), Setting: A DYING FLOWER
Tiramisu Vaping, monologue Genre: DARK COMEDY, Cast: FEMALE (Male), Setting: HOME
A DONUT DAYDREAM
Age Range: 15-18 years old
Running time: approximately 2.5 minutes long
Description: Lulu is a girl of about 17 years old. It is about a month before her high school prom. She is at the library, trying to study with her friend.
I’m dreaming of a donut. I’m that hungry. Like, literally, day dreaming about tasting one. Biting into one. I’m not sure which one I’d choose…Maybe the kind with chocolate icing on the outside and that creamy filling. What are those called? Cream puffs? Not that but…they’re so good. So rich. I like that feeling of a little kind of explosion as my teeth hit the pastry. And the filling just spills out into my mouth. Or maybe I’d go for a glazed donut. They’re simple. But we all know they’re the best, right? The melted sugar. The glaze. That slight hint of a yeasty dough. I like to feel the glaze melt on my tongue. Turn from icing into liquid. You know you can really taste the sugar, so intense, right on the front of your tongue? I really should be studying. I know that. I have my books right here. But when you’re hungry…you know…it’s all you can think about. I guess this is how those kids in Africa feel. Those poor kids. You know it’s my mom that made me skip lunch. She thinks—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "A Donut Daydream."
A KLINGON IN LOVE
Genre: COMEDY, Star Trek / Trekkie / sci-fi monologue
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A STAR TREK CONVENTION
Age Range: teen to 60s
Description: ARLEN is dressed up as a Klingon, head to toe, at a Star Trek Convention. He speaks to Trish, a woman who is wearing a Star Fleet officer uniform.
I know it seems crazy that a Klingon would fall for a star fleet commander, but…crazier things have happened on the Enterprise, right? We’re not talking DS9 or Voyager here. We’re talking Gene Roddenberry, old school, Jim and Picard. You remember Kirk and the green alien? Data searching for human emotions? You know what I’m saying. You get it. Who cares if our blood’s different colors? Who cares what the rest of them think. We’re in love. I wanna…I wanna tell Mr. Sulu selling $50 pictures over there—tell him about how you switched your phaser from Kill to Stun when you saw me. I wanna interrupt Dr. Crusher’s speech to tell the world how your hair smelled like apples when you leaned down to fix my mask. I wanna kiss you in a pile of tribbles for the whole convention to see! We’re different—I know, I know. You’re a communications officer—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR ENTIRE FREE A KLINGON IN LOVE MONOLOGUE
A LIFE SPURRED INTO MEANINGFUL ADVENTURE, Goldilocks’s Monologue
A Monologue excerpted from the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure
Setting: A FOREST
Age range: 10-20
Running time: 1 to 1.5 minutes long
About the play:
Goldilocks and Little Bear have run away from Little Bear’s house in the forest to start a new life together, one full of adventure and hope and away from judgmental eyes. However, they don’t quite know where they are going, how they will find their next meal, and Little Bear has never even made a shelter in the woods. Suddenly, the reality of two young friends on their own in the woods, does not seem as carefree as they once envisioned. To read the 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure, click here.
About the monologue:
Goldilocks, the clear leader of the pair, confesses to Little Bear that, despite her apparent confidence, she actually does not know where they are going. As Little Bear appears to be having second thoughts, Goldilocks does not know if her dear friend deserves to have a life without loving parents, like the one she has been ill-fated to endure. She expresses her gratitude of their friendship, but gives him the freedom to return to his protective and loving family, as the adventure she is embarking on will not be easy.
I…I don’t know where we’re going…We know your parents don’t accept me in your house. And…I don’t have much of a home to offer you. (pause) You can go back, Little Bear. If you want to. I mean—I’d understand. You have a family that loves you. You’re not like me. And…I don’t want you to become like me. Bears—They’re—they’re not meant to sleep in beds. But—look, maybe I’m not meant to be scavenging a forest for berries, and yet—this is where I am. And…this is my life. This is my adventure…but it doesn’t have to be yours....END OF EXCERPT
Click below for Goldilocks’s complete monologue of “A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure.”
To read the complete 10-minute play, A Life Spurred into Meaningful Adventure click below:
A REALLY GOOD REASON
By Tara Meddaugh
Setting: A coffee shop
Age range: 16-40
Running time: Approximately 1.5-2 minutes
Description: Kelly, a woman around 20 years old, speaks to her “friend,” Rebecca, in a coffee shop. She explains why she can no longer be friends with her. It’s not because of the things Rebecca does which are unattractive or unintelligent (these things only make Kelly look better in comparison). It’s because Rebecca is starting to look prettier, and boys are noticing. Kelly simply can’t have a friend who rivals for attention. That just wouldn’t make sense. Kelly lets her down as easily as she knows how.
There’s a really good reason I don’t like you. And I think, look, Rebecca, just listen, I think if you heard me, if you really understood the reason, I think you’d agree with me. And it’s not because you’re, y’know, “loose”—that’s a nice word I’m using because you know how considerate I am. I like a loose friend anyway because it makes me look like more of a catch. Same thing with how you forget to brush your teeth after you eat those egg salad sandwiches you always pack, or how you chew gum really loudly—and not in a sexy way, like I do. And how you say stupid things like, “Oh, those poor starving kids in Africa,” when really, there are a lot of rich people in South Africa who give tours of giraffes and stuff, so you really don’t know your geography. But that’s all cool with me, because your being those things just makes me look better. Which makes you look better too, because you’re friends with me. I’m thoughtful like that. But, the thing is…And…oh, it’s so hard for me say… (pause) But really, it’s not. (pause) You’re--END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue, "A Really Good Reason."
A WASTE OF A TOTALLY GOOD JELLY BEAN
Setting: A kitchen
Age range: 5-15 years old
Run time: 1 minute
Description: STEVEN, a boy (ages 5-15) speaks to his dad. Steven has just shared his Easter jelly beans with his dad who has gobbled up a handful of them all at once. Steven implores his dad to eat the jelly beans the “right” way.
There is a wrong way. There's really a wrong way and you're doing it, Dad! You're doing it so wrong wrong wrong wrong! You're totally wasting them! You know how hard it was for me to get those? I mean, I waited all year...since last Easter. And—I—I—I don't mind sharing with you. Really. I like it when I can give you something that I really like and you like it too. But—this—this is just wrong, Dad. When someone gives you 20 jelly beans, and they're all different flavors like popcorn and chocolate pudding and blueberry, you don't just—you don't just shove them all in your mouth at once! Then you don't taste anything and it's just this giant blob of like, I don't know, sugary melted plastic or something. You gotta—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "A Waste of a Totally Good Jelly Bean."
ABHAY AND THE BANANA
Extracted from the play For My Silent Sisters
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: MUMBAI, INDIA , a brothel
Age Range: 12-25
Description: Abhay has lived on the harsh streets of Mumbai before being “taken in” by a brothel owner who is grooming Abhay to enter the field. Abhay is a teenager now, and it has been years since he had any kind of home or regular meals at all. Yet he's conflicted as he learns he has moved from one horrific circumstance to another. Abhay relives, to the audience, the moment he loses his mother and home, and what that means to him and his baby sister.
I’ve had two people I loved. And two people who’ve died. I never met my dad, if you can call him that. Some man that got my mom pregnant. A different guy got her pregnant again two years later and gave me my sister. I never met him either but I owe him—‘cause he gave me Purnima. (pause) My mom was always warm, right up until the end. Always kissing my forehead, stroking my cheek with her hand, calling me “baby,” when she was just a kid herself. She had me when she was 14. She wore dark purple nail polish. It almost looked black. I liked the smell of it, like strawberry. Her bracelets would jingle when she hugged me and she told me I gave her the best hugs in the world. I believe it too because she was surrounded by some real bad people. (pause) She never even got to turn 20. She died of tuberculosis when she was 18. My baby sister was two. We got no family, no friends that would stick around and raise two bastard kids. Only took a day before some crazy men took over the hut she’d somehow managed to get for us. They said it was theirs. But I knew they were thieves, but I’m four so what can I do. One guy throws me a banana as he kicks me out. I ask him for another one. I got a baby sister, I tell him. He sorta laughs—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the entire free monologue, "Abhay and the Banana."
To purchase the play, For My Silent Sisters, from which this monologue is extracted, click below:
BABY ANTS IN A PIE
Cast FEMALE (male)
Age Range: 10-60 years old
Running time: approximately 1.5-2 minutes long
Description: ROBIN is in the kitchen with her friend, Gabe. She offers him some of the apple pie that has been sitting in the window sill for a week now, as she has been savoring it. As she gets it out, she notices something unusual.)a
There are ants in the—oh, gross—oh, gross—there are ants in the pie! Ew ew ew! Squish them--quick! Wait--is that a queen in it? Is that possible? It looks like it has wings. That would mean, I guess, that would mean they must have their nest there, or their hill or farm, whatever it’s called…They must have made the pie their home. And…I already ate a piece—and I don’t even know if I regret it yet because it was really amazing apple pie, but that also means…I probably ate some…ants…and maybe some…baby ants…if the queen just hatched them. Are baby ants like worms? Or just tiny looking ants? Oh, I really don’t know anything about ants. But I do know that I do not want to eat them, and I definitely don’t want to eat a baby ant. I mean…look, ants are gross. Really, just all bugs are gross. Except maybe…butterflies—but otherwise, yuck, right? But a baby…I mean, a baby can’t help it if it was born in an apple pie. A baby is—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Baby Ants in a Pie"-
If you'd like to use this monologue, contact Tara for permission.
CLAIRE, MY ECLAIR
Genre: COMEDIC/DRAMATIC/TEEN monologue
Setting: Outside of a school
Age Range: 13-20
Running time: approximately 1 minute long
Description: ANDRES, a boy around 16 years old, talks to his ex-girlfriend, Claire. He begs her for forgiveness in stealing from her father, and pleads that she consider how his actions were always for the benefit of their relationship.
Claire, Claire—my éclair…My chocolatey, sweet treat, my—okay, okay! I’ll stop! Don’t leave! I won’t call you that. I guess—I don’t deserve to call you that, do I? You’re not my—you’re not my éclair now. Not anymore. I’m just—if you’re sweet then I’m, I’m a—a—a—a Tylenol, like when you chew it up. All bitter and gross. That’s me. I know it, Claire. I’m a gross chewed up Tylenol, and you don’t deserve that. Why would you talk to me? Why would you even look at me after what I did? (pause) But you do look at me. And that’s just because—that’s just because you’re so perfect. You’re like, the most incredible person in the world, and I was so lucky for those two months to be part of such an incredible person’s life.
(pause) And, I want you to know, I mean, I hope you already do—but…I know I messed up. You trusted me—END OF EXCERPT.
Click for complete free monologue of Claire, My Eclair.
COVERING MY EARS
Genre: DRAMATIC/CHILDREN/TEEN monologue
Setting: A bathroom
Age Range: 12-70+
Running time: approximately 2 minutes long
Description: Description: Whitney is in the bathroom, envisioning the calmness, peace and escape covering her ears in the shower gives her, before the abrupt harshness of reality comes when she uncovers her ears.
I cover my ears in the shower. I stand there—letting the water drip down my hair, my back. I turn into it. It flows down my face. It’s loud. Not like thunder. It’s…it’s…peaceful. Like…I’m swimming under water, in a lake, it’s dark and the rain is pouring down. It’s loud under water. But it’s quiet. Muffled. Calm. There are no problems under water. There is no yelling. No hurt. No pain. Everything is erased. And no one knows me. What I’ve done. What’s been done to me. I’m nothing under the water. And nothing is…freeing. To me. (pause) I uncover my ears. (pause) I have to. I know I can’t stand like this forever. (pause) And when I do--END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Covering My Ears"
F FOR FRIENDSHIP
A dark comedy/dramatic/thriller/teen monologue
By Tara Meddaugh
Age range: teen-young adult
Running time: approximately 1 minute
Description: Michelle is having a casual conversation with fellow mean girl, Alicia. Alicia has complimented Michelle’s nails and shoes, but for some reason, Michelle isn’t buying it. She’s not buying it because Michelle has just beaten up Alicia and Michelle is now holding a gun. Michelle is sick of Alicia’s back-stabbing and the way she treats other people and she has been trying to purge the high school of mean girls, just like Alicia.
*Contains mature language in the pdf purchase of monologue, although substitutions are also included as an alternative. For the website excerpt, only the substitutions are written (no mature language)
Now you’ll talk to me, right? Now you’ll smile…and tell me you like my shoes and My God, did I do my nails myself because they’re so perfect? (pause) You little back-stabbing snob.(pause) Your voice is a little shaky, you see. So I don’t know if I should believe you. (playing with gun) Because my nails are actually chipping, Alicia. See?—END OF EXCERPT
For the complete 1-minute monologue, F For Friendship, click below:
Genre: DARK COMEDY
Cast FEMALE (male)
Age range: 13-30 years old
Description: After murdering her friend’s ferret, Jyoti, wrought with guilt, tries to make some form of amends.
I know you think I murdered your ferret, but—hey, stop crying. You’re gonna make me cry too. And you (starts crying)—know—happens—when—we—both—start—oh! I’m doing it too now…(gaining composure) Okay. Okay. What would Xena do? (pause) Julia, your ferret ran away. He did. I know you don’t want to believe me, but I know this, because…well, I saw him. And I was wearing my glasses, so I had 20/20. Or 20/30. I need a new prescription. But I could still see it was Foozu, and he was wearing the yellow rain slicker, not the winter coat you tie dyed for him, so I think he was headed for Seattle. (pause) And, I don’t think we should go after him, Julia. That Payless box wasn’t big enough; you always forgot to feed him, and when you did, it was usually just pebbles and sticks—and I really don’t think ferrets can live on that. Seattle has a lot more to offer Foozu. Food, drinks, warm shelter, intellectual stimulation, perpetual contentment. He deserves that, don’t you think? (pause) I, I know coming in and seeing me with the knife over Foozu’s box makes it look rather strange. But…Well—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR ENTIRE FREE FERRET ENVY MONOLOGUE.
FORGIVENESS AND DEFEAT AT A POKEMON GYM
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: In a parking lot of a grocery store. Late at night.
Age range: 12-30 years old
Running time: Approxmiately 1 to 1.5 minutes
Description: Benjamin, a boy of around 16 years old, is at a Stop and Shop grocery store parking lot, around midnight. He is speaking with his long time friend (and probably crush), Evie, who is quite angry with him. Unknowingly, he has defeated her pokemon gym, and now he needs to prove he would never battle with her on purpose...but is it too late?
I know you’re mad—I just saw your post of that face with the flames coming out of its head, and I’m just—aw, Evie, I know it looks bad. I know you won’t believe me, but listen, it’s not, it’s just, it’s not what it looks like. (pause) How was I supposed to know it was you? You’re a—you’re a girl with really long hair, but your avatar looks kind of like a boy with short hair. Which is fine, but I mean, right there, that should show you I’m innocent. And—I never would have thought you’d choose yellow. Your favorite color is blue—it’s always been blue…like your eyes…And look at your bike, Evie—it’s blue too. It still has those butterfly decals you put on when you were nine. I put on the lightning bolts (pause) I know there isn’t much I can do now—END OF EXCERPT.
Click below for the complete monologue of "Forgiveness and Defeat at a Pokemon Gym."
I AM A SHARK
Setting: A BEACH
Age range: 10-20 years old
Description: Jaime is a child or teen (may be played by a male or female actor), anywhere from 10-20 years old. Jaime is standing at a beach when confronted by a group of bullies.
Sometimes, when I stand on the beach and look out at the ocean, I imagine I’m a shark. My feet are hot, so hot they’re burning. Burning so much, I start to not feel the pain anymore. I take several deep breaths, and I breathe out the heat through my nose. I can feel it leaving me. My feet are tingling. A little numb. But I feel no pain. I am a shark. I’m swimming through the water and you can cut me with your knives, but my skin is hard and I am tough. And I feel no pain. A boy, this boy I know, but wish I didn’t, runs out of the ocean and past me. I feel the cold water he’s brought in on my legs. He’s tossed sand on me too and it’s sticking to me. I reach my hand down to feel the roughness on my legs. It’s like sandpaper. His friend runs out of the water too, chasing him, and he bumps into me—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR ENTIRE FREE I AM A SHARK MONOLOGUE.
IOWA IS GONNA BE SO JEALOUS
Setting: SAFARI JEEP
Age range: 5-18
Running time: Approximately 1 - 1.5 minutes
Description: RYAN is a boy, around 7-18 years old. He is on a South African safari with his parents. He is in the safari jeep. A camping pack has just fallen off the jeep and a rhino charged at it while the jeep was driving. Ryan speaks to his parents.
Did you see it? Did you see him charge? Like—I’ve—he charged, Mom! Dad—did you see him charge? That’s—you know rhinos can’t really see well? Did you know that? I mean, they charge before they even know what they’re charging at and—that could have been us! You know? It was just the tent pack that fell off the jeep, but—man…It could have been us! (pause) This is the best trip ever!! (quick pause) First, there’s no hot water at the camp during the day so, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you haven’t made me take a shower since Thursday! And remember how the camp kitchen wasn’t working yesterday so we got to have Lucky Charms and popcorn at dinner? Plus, when you guys fell asleep last night, I played on my Kindle for 4 hours and got to level 5 in Geometry Dash Meltdown! I knew a safari would be cool. I mean—END OF EXCERPT
Click for pdf of complete monologue, Iowa Is Gonna Be So Jealous.
Setting: A MINIVAN
Age range: 7-15 years old
Running time: approximately 1 minute long
Description: JUSTIN, a boy, 7-12 years old, is sitting in the driver’s side of his mom’s Toyota Sienna minivan. The keys are in the ignition, the doors are locked. The window is open about 1 inch. Justin’s mom is standing next to the driver’s side of the car, locked out.
Just because I’m not a teenager yet doesn’t mean I can’t drive a car. You think I won’t do it? I might not be good at it, but remember how long it took me to tie my shoes? I had those laces in knots no one knew what to do with, for years, but I didn’t stop. I just kept practicing. You say it’s good to be a hard worker. Well, my strength is also my weakness, I guess. Look at how that came to bite you, Mom. Because you know all it would take is for me to put this Sienna in reverse. Just back it out of the driveway nice and slow or maybe not nice and slow. Maybe fast and furious or whatever—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK BELOW FOR THE COMPLETE MONOLOGUE OF "IPAD FURY."
Adapted from Holding Ginger
Cast: FEMALE (male)
Age range: 5-14 years old
Description: Jenna is standing in the hallway of her house. Her older sister, Livvy, is near her, and they’ve both witnessed Jenna’s running through the hall and knocking over Livvy’s (empty) glass vase. There is broken glass on the floor.
Uh oh…uh oh…I’m sorry! I’m so...I’ll clean it up! Right now! I’ll—I didn’t do it on purpose. You know that, right? It was an accident! I was just running through—I know I’m not supposed to be running through the hall, but…Ginger was chasing that ball and I was trying to catch him…Come on. I’m sorry. Okay? I just bumped into it by accident…I’m cleaning it up, see? Even though Mom would probably be mad I’m touching glass like this and you’re not helping even though you’re older than I am. But look—I’m doing it! I’m really sorry, Livvy. You’ve had that vase for…I don’t know…when did that boy give it to you? You were…were you my age? Maybe older. No boy has given me flowers yet—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR ENTIRE FREE LIVVY'S VASE MONOLOGUE.
To purchase the entire 10-minute play, Holding Ginger, from which this monologue was edited, click below:
LOCKING THE STORE
From Poorly Wrapped
Genre: DARK COMEDY/DRAMA
Setting: GIFT SHOP
Age range: 13-30 years old
Description: Clark is a young man in his late teens or twenties. He is the sales clerk at a gift shop on a small isolated island. Grace, a beautiful customer, has convinced him to give her a free disposable camera, and to wrap it with a roll of wrapping paper from his store. He is smitten with her, beyond rational thought, and does what she asks. He has been wrapping the camera for her, but has been distracted by her beauty.
Grace, you’re so beautiful. Maybe I should…look, it’s almost five. I think maybe I’ll just turn that sign over. Turn it over to say we’re closed. Lock the door, maybe? Would that be alright with you? If I did that? I mean, just so we could make sure our time wasn’t interrupted. You’re so beautiful that I just couldn’t, I just really wouldn’t want it to be interrupted. You know? I mean, if someone walked through that door right now, I just, I just don’t know what I’d do. What I’d be able to do. I just… (moves to door) I’m going to lock it. To say we’re closed. No one will come here anyway. No one should. No one on this island stays out past 4:00. I’m mean, we’re out. But that’s us. We’re different than all of them, aren’t we? We’re the two people who are different, and I’m going to keep the rest of them out—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR COMPLETE FREE MONOLOGUE LOCKING THE STORE.
Click below for the one-act play, Poorly Wrapped, from which the "Locking the Store" monologue comes.
MARCH IN LINE
Genre: DARK COMEDY
Age range: 13-25 years old
Description: Stephanie is a teenager who does not have many friends in her community or school. She is in her bedroom and speaks to her stuffed animals.
I’m thrilled you all could make it tonight, gentlemen. I know I ask a lot of you, but I hope you all realize, I notice everything. Every tiny smile, every command obeyed, every sacrifice given. You’re my men, aren’t you? And tonight, you’re going to prove it. (pause) Now, I want you all to pick up your instruments and line up in—You! Stand up straight, please. I said, stand up! Would you like the whole town to see you in a wrinkled band uniform? Don’t answer, just listen. (surveys the troops) Now, form that single line and reflect on your assignment tonight. Remember, you’re more than simply clarinet players or baton twirlers. You have a mission, a purpose—and while you may not be here to witness the difference you make, know that I will. And that’s really what matters most, now isn’t it? (pause) So all those people who said I didn’t have a voice, who said no one would ever listen to me—those awful people, with their awful taunts in my head—“She called ‘fire’ and no one heard her!” “Have you noticed how the waiter never stops at her table?” “She can’t even get a dog to lick her hand!”—END OF EXCERPT
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(from The Other Three Sisters)
Setting: 18TH CENTURY HOME
Age range: 15-25 years old
Description: Mary has finally agreed to marry the large, ugly, boring Mr. Watts. While she does not love him, she would hate for his offer to go to her younger sisters and see one of them married before she. Additionally, her neighbors have not received an offer of marriage, and she looks forward to holding this over them. While she dreads a life with Mr. Watts, she looks forward to the riches and society gatherings a marriage affords. She reminds him of what he owes to her, and becomes increasingly excited and demanding as she imagines her life with him.
Remember the pinmoney—two hundred a year! And remember I am to have a new carriage hung as high as the Duttons', and blue spotted with silver. And I shall expect a new saddle horse, a suit of fine lace, and an infinite number of the most valuable jewels. Diamonds such as never were seen! And pearls, rubies, emeralds and beads out of number. You must set up your phaeton which must be cream colored with a wreath of silver flowers round it. You must buy four of the finest Bays in the kingdom and you must drive me in it every day. This is not all. You must entirely new furnish your house after my taste. You must hire two more footmen to attend me, two women to wait on me, must always do just as I please and make a very good husband—END OF EXCERPT
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Click below for the entire one-act play, The Other Three Sisters, from which the "Mary's Expectations" monologues comes.
MAYBE THE NEXT IOS UPDATE...
Cast FEMALE (MALE)
Setting: A RESTAURANT
Age Range: late teen-40s
Running time: approximately 3 minutes
Description: ESTELLE, a woman in her 20s-40s, has just made it to a restaurant to meet Dan, a man she is dating. She is one hour late to their dinner, and implores him to understand this is not her fault and no reflection of how much she likes him. It’s all just because of, well, her jealous Siri…
I know I’m late again, and you’re a, you’re a saint to wait an hour for me, but, listen, really, I didn’t know we were meeting at 6. I thought—remember yesterday, you said 7? And, I know, I know, I know, you’re not gonna believe me, but, I never got the update you sent to my calendar. I thought we were still meeting at 7. And—listen to me, I know this has happened before, and you think, you think I’m some sort of flake or, maybe I get off by making you wait, but I don’t. I don’t! I (pause) Dan…I really like you. (pause) I like…how you make fun of my penguin socks, and how I sometimes have to look up words you use in your emails. I like how you take me to vegan restaurants when I know you love steak. And, how you’ll listen to pop music with me and pretend to dance even though I know you want to listen to old-man jazz music. And…I like how you look at me, and take your glasses off, because your eyes make me feel warm…and safe… like we’re sitting by a fire place with a blanket around us and maybe drinking hot chocolate…and…you make me feel so happy my stomach’s always nervous around you. (pause) And…I think, see, I think that’s the problem. (pause) I haven’t felt this way before. Not since—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete monologue of Maybe the Next iOs Update.
MY MISSING SKITTLES
Running Time: Approximately 1 minute
Description: Sal, a child 5-12 years old, has woken up in the middle of the night to find his father by the kitchen pantry, holding several Skittles’ candy wrappers in his hand. Sal confronts his dad about where his dad may have gotten this candy from, just days after Sal’s Halloween candy was put away into this very closet…
Now you’re the one looking guilty, Dad. I know that face. I made that same face last night when you asked if I was playing with my Ipad after I went to bed. You could hear the fighting sounds. You knew I was. But we’re not talking about me right now. Are we? Cause I’m not the one standing by the closet with Skittles’ wrappers in my hands. Did you buy Skittles tonight, Dad? Cause I didn’t think you bought candy at stores. I thought you just bought milk and Band-Aids at stores, and only when Mom asked you to. Not Skittles. (pause) But I do remember what happened 2 nights ago when…END OF EXCERPT.
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NO MORE MIRRORS
A Dramatic monologue by Tara Meddaugh
From the full-length play, For My Silent Sisters.
Cast: FEMALE (could be male)
Setting: A hotel room
Age Range: 13-30+ years
Description: JORANI is a young teen in Cambodia when she is taken from her home to work at a brothel. She sees herself in the mirror and does not recognize her face, filled with bruises. She is speaking out toward the audience.
The bruise should be no surprise. I’ve felt them often enough. They don’t hurt unless you touch them. So don’t touch them. That’s what my mom would say. No one says that now. No one notices them. They pull on my arm which is covered with bruises. I flinch but they don’t see. My caramel skin is more green and yellow now. I’m used to seeing this. My skin is no longer mine. My body is no longer mine. I understand that. The Buddha shows us suffering is life. When I last saw my mother, she reminded me of what I have known all my life—we must rid ourselves of our attachments, and then we can be on the path to enlightenment. My path. I think of this often, as I give up my body. I accept that. I hold no attachment. But when I see my face, I know that it’s mine. I’m still attached. I see it in the broken mirror of the hotel bathroom. I see it in a reflection of his family’s picture on the nightstand. I see it in the water he’s put in a bowl for me to drink out of on the floor. My eyes house my soul. My mouth houses my voice. My ears house my compassion. This essence of who I am is still mine. Seeing my face reminds me…of me. (pause) The American chose me. I prayed he would not, but he did. I saw him months ago and I dirtied my pants when I saw him choose me again. I’ve been with him for two weeks now and I haven’t once looked at my face after all he’s done to me. Our faces matter, Madam tells us. Our faces are to stay clean and soft. But this doesn’t stop them. They’ll pay extra, but this doesn’t stop them. (pause) And I need to see. (pause) He’s stepped out to get high again. He knows I won’t leave. I crawl to the bathroom and reach up to the sink. I pull myself up and ignore the pain in all of my body. I stand, but my legs are shaking. This mirror is clean. I rub it with my finger and it squeaks. (pause) I stare. I breathe in…But I am quiet, I am a mouse. I cannot make a sound—END OF EXCERPT
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Tara Meddaugh (c) 2017
Genre: DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE / TEEN MONOLOGUE
Setting: A HOUSE
Age range: 15-50 (any age)
Description: MELINDA, a woman in her 20s-40s, speaks to her friend, Lauren. Melinda’s mother is suffering from a debilitating and fatal disease and she has given up her job and apartment to move back at home and care for her. Her mother has stopped eating and Melinda knows that she is dying.
Everyone keeps telling me to cry like it’s some kind of, some kind of miracle cure or something. I’ll feel better, I’ll feel this, I don’t know, this release, and—I don’t even know what a release feels like. What—suddenly I’ll have no tightness in my chest? Cause you know, I’m wearing this tightness inside of me like some kind of old fashioned girdle, you know? And, it’s like, if crying really did cure all of that—if it took away this—this monster that’s squeezing the breath out of me—if it took away that feeling in my throat like I’m being choked all the time, or like my throat is tired from whispering all night? I mean, if it took that away, if that’s what a release is…then, yeah. I’d cry until my eyes dried out. (pause) But…Lauren, it doesn’t work that way. I wish it did. God, I wish it did. Because I do cry. I cry and sometimes I sob like those little kids in the grocery store who want, whatever, candy or, I don’t know what they want. But I’m sobbing in the shower or in front of the refrigerator and that tightness in my chest is making me heave and those hands around my neck are still choking me, and, when I’m done crying—I’m hoping, I’m waiting…for me to feel that release…that everyone keeps talking about. (pause) But the tightness is still there. And…now I have this weaknesses too, like, my legs don’t want to hold me up anymore. Like, I’m some sort of—you know those puppets? Marionettes? That have to have strings to hold them up or they’ll collapse?—END OF EXCERPT.
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NOT JUST DERIVATIVES AND FUNCTIONS OR WHATEVER
A monologue by Tara Meddaugh
Genre: Teen/Comedy/Young Adult
Running time: Approximately 2 minutes
Cast: Female, teen, young adult
Setting: School Cafeteria
About the monologue: Angelina is in the school cafeteria and speaks to her friend, Dawson, about his decision to take Helen to the prom. She first points out how Helen is not as kind as she is, but the real issue is Helen’s brain (Angelina doesn’t body-bash, so she won’t mention Helen’s looks). Angelina knows how much Dawson values a brain in a girl he likes (he did, after all, tell her once that “The hottest part of a girl is her brain.”). She is concerned, as any friend would be, that Helen’s brain is just too obsessed with math to be, well, hot.
Are you really going to Prom with Helen? Don’t even think about the fact that I’m, like, 10 times nicer than her—you know I am—you saw me donating all my old clothes, even from Anthropology, and I could have gotten a lot of money if I’d sold them online. And Helen…she’s mean, Dawson. She wouldn’t even adopt that stray cat we saw in the school parking lot on Tuesday. And you know I was totally ready to do it, except it ran away and you can’t chase cats. (pause) Now, I won’t criticize her looks, because I don’t body bash and am so pro-unity. But can we talk about her brain? It’s okay to judge brains. Because, Dawson, this is the real issue. You could go out with her if you’re into mean girls who, you know, look like her. But remember last year, when we had that really long talk sitting next to each other on the bus going to that art museum? You said, and I totally remember it, because it was so cool you said it, and so much more mature than all the other guys in school. It was like you were…in your 20s... You said, you were like, “The hottest part of a girl is her brain.” (pause) So. You know. Think about her brain, Dawson. She’s always, I mean, she’s obsessed with Math. Everything she—END OF EXCERPT
Click to read the full free pdf of the monologue Not Just Derivatives and Functions or Whatever.
To request permission of use, contact Tara.
PURPLE BANANA NOSE
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: POLICE STATION
Age range: 15-50 years old
Description: A room in a police station. The light is white, cold. A DETECTIVE sits at a table with a folder in front of him/her. DANNY, a man with an intellectual disability, sits on the other side of the table. His hands are on his head and he shakes it back and forth.
Not s’posed to tell! Not s’posed to tell! (pause) I tell but not use names. Okay? That’s what Jimm—that’s what my best friend tell me to do. No names. ‘Cause we’re best friends. My friends always save the cherry one for me. They good friends. ‘Cause I useta play by myself, but now they play games wi’ me. My friend teach me S-s-s-sah-li-taire. Put black on red. Black on red. Black-on-red. Blackonred. (pause) Why I gotta tell you ‘bout the game we play? It our game! My game wi’ my friends! (pause) We gonna play Muppets, he tell me. You be Gonzo! He tell me. GONZO! (pause) Gonzo got a purple banana nose. I like Gonzo. They tell me be Gonzo ‘cause Gonzo weird and stupid. Like me. They funny. My friends. (pause) We gonna do Muppet Caper. My friend Pe—my friend, he play Kermit. And one play Piggy—but he’s a boy, not a girl. (laughing) He’s a boy, not a girl. Boy-not-girl. Boynotgirl. They all silly. (pause) I don’t wanna tell you no more. You’re not laughing. You don’t think my friends funny. They make me laugh. But you make me cry. Why you look like you so mad? Wanna go home. Don’t wanna stay here. You look so mad. Don’t wanna talk—END OF EXCERPT
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About the play: In this one-act dark comedy/thriller, Rachel and Peter meet in a vortex-like space between opposing lines of people. While Rachel is simply passing the time before she returns to her place in line, Peter has stepped out of his line in protest. As the lines begin to close in on them, he must make a life-altering decision by choosing to continue forging his path in his father’s line, or join the haunting allure of Rachel’s line, the “line of diamonds.”
About the monologue: Rachel recounts to her old classmate, Peter, how she first met him. After being bullied by a classmate on a teeter totter, Peter stepped in and punch the bully.
We weren’t in the same class, but we had recess together. Play time. I’m Rachel. You’re Peter, right? I remember the name of someone who saved me. I was on the teeter totter with Becky Hill—she was really big, remember? She was my age—maybe six, or whatever age you are in first grade. I think she weighed over a hundred pounds already. I weighed maybe 40, or whatever you’re supposed to weigh at that age. Hey, are you crying? I’m telling you the tale of why I know you and I really think you ought to be listening to me. So maybe Becky didn’t like me because I stuttered when I read Dr. Seuss, or she was jealous that I still wore kids’ t-shirts or maybe she didn’t like me because I was just who she didn’t want to like—I don’t know. But when I was way up high and she was way down low, when her totter was touching the pavement, she—END OF EXCERPT
Click for the free monologue, Seventeen Stitches: Rachel’s monologue.
Click below for the one-act play, Seventeen Stitches, from which Rachel’s monologue comes.
SHE'S SO UGLY
Genre: COMEDY/DARK COMEDY/TEEN
Setting: A TEEN BEDROOM
Age range: 12-22
Running time: Approximately 1 minute
Description: Skyler speaks to her friends about Hannah, a girl in their dance class, who is far from pretty. She pities poor Hannah being stuck with so many beautiful girls and illustrates just how ugly Hannah truly is. She has the idea to give her a make-over, but does not think any makeover could bring her even close to the extremely high caliber of the other beautiful girls. She comes to the realization that the only way to make Hannah appear prettier, is to make the pretty girls uglier. She recognizes this will be a challenge, as well, but they will not shy away from a challenge.
She’s so ugly, I feel so bad. No, seriously, I do, because I have, like, a really high level of empathy. I took a test online and I’m basically an empath. So think of walking in to school every day like that, and worse, oh my god, worse, our dance class, right? Everyone is so pretty in that class. We can’t help it. Attractive people like to dance and that’s not our fault and that’s not discrimination. It can’t be, because Hannah’s in that class, and well...(pause) She must feel so alone. Her poor face…oh my God, her poor hair and skin and eyes. Look, you guys know I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. You saw what my shirt said yesterday, right? “Being Beautiful Is Everyone’s Destiny.” Everyone’s. Not just mine. And I wouldn’t wear it if I didn’t believe it. You know I hold true to my convictions. It’s why everyone likes me. (pause) But Hannah…I mean, maybe we need to focus on her inner beauty, you know? And it’s like, we could do a make-over, and draw some beauty out, but, I really don’t think that’s enough. The standard in our class is just too high. So. I was thinking. You know how—END OF EXCERPT
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Genre: DARK COMEDY
Gender: MALE (FEMALE)
Setting: OUTSIDE A HOUSE
Age range: 10-20 years old
Description: Ben is a boy of about 14, who is in the marching band at school. A bully has stolen one of his crutches, and he now speaks to a friend, Mike.
I’ve been practicing my clarinet all morning and I really thought I was gonna get in this time. I know marching band is competitive, especially for the hockey team, but I had a good feeling about it all morning. Fifth time’s a charm, my mom said. (pause) Then that guy who wears all the jewelry stole my crutch. (pause) My mom said it was okay for me to practice my song outside, since it wasn’t raining and I was only playing marches. But he ran up to me from across the street. He was yelling something like, “shut the hell up!” or something. And he knocked my stand over and grabbed one of my crutches. I tried to run after him, but I’m not very fast on one crutch. I didn’t let him get my clarinet though! I had to toss it under the picnic table, and I’m sure I broke the reed, but at least I saved it. Anyway, now I have to sort of hop and walk to get anywhere. I don’t think I can make it to the gym on time with only one crutch. And since you have that crutch you used in fourth grade when you were Tiny Tim, I was wondering if I could maybe borrow it. I know you want it to stay in mint condition, but I won’t mess it up. I’d have to bend over a little, since it’s a kiddie crutch, but my mom said I have a strong back. I don’t mind. (pause) Hey, you’re the reason my leg is broken anyway. You’re the one who told me to jump off the truck so—END OF EXCERPT
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STILL STANDING UNDER THE MISTLETOE
A comedic/dramatic monologue
By Tara Meddaugh
Age range: teen-adult
Running time: Approximately 1.5-2 minutes
Setting: A Christmas party
Description: Larry is at a Christmas party and speaks to his ex-girlfriend Mindy. She is standing under a mistletoe and he nervously confesses he still has feelings for her. He hopes that she still has feelings for him too, and that if she notices she is standing under the mistletoe, she will not move away from it…
Is it okay that I’m, I mean, you don’t mind talking to me, when you’re—you know, you’re standing there? I mean, maybe you don’t even notice, but you’re standing under—Okay, I shouldn’t even mention. You’ll just move. And I—I—I don’t want you to move. (pause)You’re…Mindy…you’re the most beautiful thing at this Christmas party and that winter wonderland display is very pleasing to the eye, so it’s not easy competition. (pause) But—blue lights and artificial snow? It’s nothing compared to you. I haven’t forgotten how you smell like cinnamon or how your hair feels like velvet or how your laugh could, it could melt those icicles hanging from the roof. (pause) You make me a poet! (pause) So why would I want you to move when we’re finally so close? (pause) You don’t have to say anything. I don’t mind if you’re quiet because if you say something, you might tell me to leave. Or tell me I’m crazy. That this is all in my head that—END OF EXCERPT
Click below for the complete copy of the monologue, Still Standing Under the Mistletoe
Edited from the 10-minute play, The Beanstalk. NOTE: The monologue does not appear word-for-word from the play (some parts are changed and broken up in the play), but the character, situation and story are the same.
Cast: MALE (FEMALE)
Setting: A GIANT BEANSTALK
Age range: 12-25 years old
Description: Jack is on a very large beanstalk leading to the clouds. He speaks to a black crow.
Don’t poke my eyes out! I’m not one of those sisters! I’m not—wait! Don’t leave! I’m sorry—I’m getting a little, I’m a little anxious up here. By myself. But don’t leave. I don’t know if you can tell, but, I-I-I’m kind of a little bit stuck up here, and…I don’t want to be alone. (pause) See, I didn’t…really…think that I’d make it this far up. Although, I’ve always been a bit of a climber. When I was nine months old, my mom found me sitting on top of the brown cow in the barn one morning. I never considered myself afraid of heights before, but, it’s not really the climbing up that scares me. It’s the getting down, Black Crow…It seemed so easy getting here—just put one foot on the branch then another and…Oh, I’ve tried going down already. I put my foot on a branch, but it’s slippery now. See? It’s like the sludge at the bottom of the pig trough. And you do not want be climbing down from the clouds on pig sludge! I’d fly off and land down there in a broken bone pile. And, then everyone would just say, “Well, that’s Jack. He doesn’t know how to climb down, poor slow boy.” (pause) And I guess they’d be right—END OF EXCERPT
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Click below for the entire 10-minute play, The Beanstalk, from which this monologue is edited.
THE DOG TOENAIL (excerpt from Free Space)
Genre: DARK COMEDY
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A CAN FACTORY
Age range: 14-30 years old
Description: Ricky is a hardworking, kind and straight-forward young man at the local cannery. When Amelia comes to visit him, she confesses to a mistake her family has made. Ricky attempts to make her feel better about this.
Mistakes happen though. To you and your mom, and it happened here at the cannery once—a lady came in a few months ago and said that she found a dog toenail in her can of corn! And that was not on the label. She was gonna sue us or something, but then the foreman gave her a free case full of canned corn and also some canned peas, because she said she really liked peas a lot better than corn anyway. I told her if she just got the canned peas instead of the corn in the first place, she wouldn’ta had this problem and it woulda saved her some time that morning—END OF EXCERPT
CLICK FOR COMPLETE FREE THE DOG TOENAIL MONOLOGUE
Click below for a digital copy of Free Space, the full-length dark comedy from which the Dog Toenail monologue comes.
Click below for a hard copy of Free Space, the full-length dark comedy from which the Dog Toenail monologue comes.
THE PLUM COLORED SWEATER
Setting: A CLOTHING STORE
Age Range: 13-25 years old
Description: Jasmine, a beautiful girl in her late teens or early twenties, speaks to her friend, a successful businessman. She builds up her case of why he should buy a specific sweater for her.
I want to go shopping. And not just that typical “girl shopping” where you try on seven pairs of low rise jeans and four tank tops in different shades of blue. I don’t need to check to make sure the camel belt looks just right around my…. I don’t need to try on anything—because I know exactly what I want. Right now. (pause) I want a new sweater. (pause) And I know I already have a bunch of sweaters, and you’re right—they fit fine. They fit well. Beautifully. And I love them. Really—every one. Well, except for the pilled up grey one. I should really just get rid it. But the others…I wouldn’t stop wearing them. I just…See, I didn’t even know I wanted a new one. You know me. Practical. I don’t buy what I don’t need. At least since I lost all that money, I don’t. And I even saw this sweater, a few weeks ago. On Lilah. And I thought to myself, that’s a cool sweater. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it. But Lilah has it. It’s hers, and…I know you’re not a girl, but…you know how Eva dropped that blueberry cheesecake on my lap at Junior Prom? Got that caramel sauce all over me? Well, that wasn’t because she’s clumsy. It was because I came in a sequin dress too. And that wasn’t even the same color! So…I don’t really want to do that to Lilah. Or have her to anything to me. We run in the same dance circle, you know? (pause) But this…is…the same sweater. The same cut, the same beautiful purple-plum color, so rich, but light at the same time. That same softness, mixed with a little of something else to make it…rougher? It’s just…it’s a perfect sweater…So I would never have even thought of buying it, but...I think it wants me. I know that sounds weird—it’s just a sweater—but—END OF EXCERPT
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THE STATISTICS AREN’T REAL
Cast: MALE (female)
Setting: A DYING FLOWER
Running Time: Approximately 1.5 minutes
From the ten-minute play Jumping the Wind By Tara Meddaugh © 2006
About the play, Jumping the Wind:
Pollen K-10 and Pollen V-6 are the last two remaining pieces of pollen on a dying flower, and they now must make the treacherous jump from the dying flower to a fresh one. Pollen K-10 has taught flower-jumping courses to the pollen in order to make their jumps successful, yet Pollen V-6 is terrified to jump the next wind, afraid of falling and being lost forever. As the leader of the pollen, Pollen K-10 risks his own safety, remaining to help her make this jump. The winds are fading, the flower will be destroyed by Cat that night, and Pollen V-6 doesn’t look any closer to jumping.
About the monologue:
Pollen K-10 cites various statistics which prove that since he has started his flower jumping course, the rate of pollen falling to their demise during jumps has dramatically decreased. In fact, the rate of success now is astoundingly high and should be encouraging to Pollen V-6, who is terrified to jump from the dying flower to a fresh flower. Pollen K-10 has never revealed where he has received these statistics, and Pollen V-6 begs him to tell her where he has gotten them from. She will make the jump during the next wind, but needs to know this information. She needs to know the truth.
The statistics aren’t real. I made them up. (brief pause) Please don’t lose faith in me, Pollen V-6! I tried to get the statistics! I really tried! I asked the flies, but they’re too fickle. They forget what I’ve asked them to do almost immediately after they leave, and they don’t remember me when they return. The friendlier bees tried to help, but then, even the most honorable ones told me upfront there was a conflict of interest. The birds don’t care. The Talls don’t understand us. There was nowhere for me to get the statistics. The statistics aren’t real…but… (pause) The statistics are true. Pollens survive the ride so much more than they used to, because they believe they can. They believe they’re prepared, and--END OF EXCERPT
click for the complete free monologue, The Statistics Aren't Real.
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Genre: Dark Comedy/Teen/Young Adult
Cast: FEMALE (Male)
Age range: 13-20s
Running time: Approximately 1.5-2 minutes
Description: Emma, a girl around 16 years old, speaks to her mother, justifying her habit of vaping. She claims it is a far less selfish habit than her mom’s generation of smoking, and that her generation has made serious steps to think of others, as well as the planet around her. She makes the case that vaping is a lesser evil than what she could be doing, so she pleads with her mom to be proud of her for once.
How can you possibly say that I’m selfish for vaping? I mean, I think, seriously, we’re the first generation who is not being selfish. We’re like, for real, using stainless steel thermoses which is even better than recycling. And you know, my friends and I started that anti-bullying workshop when we were 10—not for us, but for the little kids. Vaping is like—oh, it’s so frustrating talking to you!—vaping is like thinking about others. You know? Like, I’m thinking about you, Mom. And I’m thinking about Lucas and even random people on the street. I’m thinking about the whole world. I mean, the whole world! I’m not polluting, Mom! I’m not giving you or kids at the park cancer. Like, your generation didn’t care about that. Okay, I know, restaurants used to allow smoking and they stopped, but, I mean, this is much bigger than that. This is like, letting us be independent and try cool flavors like Tiramisu—you know I love tiramisu—but without the fat! I mean, I haven’t gained any weight since I started vaping. And it’s like—END OF EXCERPT
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